You are Kneau Reeves. This is a hostage situation. You need traffic, lots of traffic. What do you do, hot shot? What do you do?

There are several methods for generating traffic to your website, and this post is about knocking them down. Let's examine the drawbacks to all the tools in your internet marketers handbag. And then I'll tell you the lazy marketers way to internet traffic.

Organic Search Results
Organic traffic is the holy grail of internet marketing. If you go looking for it, be sure to bring a shrubbery. You need time to build organic traffic. Anyone saying they get good traffic from organic search two weeks after launching a website is probably targeting a long tail keyword that no one is looking for.

Backlinks
Backlinks are the key to Googles organic search results. So get out there and spam every forum, blog or directory you can to get those backlinks. There are even websites telling you to use PAD submission software to spam. After a couple of weeks you wind up pretty unfulfilled.

Social Media
Sounds easy right? All you gotta do is quit your day job, get a divorce, lose your friends and hang out at Twitter building new virtual friends. Did you ever wonder why the top posts that are supposed to have such great content usually stink? The guys that rule the top of the social media sites belong to social media cliques where it's quid pro quo (you digg my post and I'll digg yours). Social media websites even tell you flat out that's how it works. And worse, they squash websites that offer to digg you in exchange for cash. I totally understand why this is banned, but isn't it hypocritical to ban diggs for cash but encourage and reward begging for diggs from your virtual friends?

Article Marketing
That's sooo 2004 dude. Article marketing websites are now the spam of the spam. It's the fastest way to disappear inside a pile of crap since Windows Vista.

The Lazy Marketers Guide to Internet Traffic
I am an American. It's my right to have whatever I want, as soon as I want it. I have been conditioned through television and advertising to have no more than a 30 second attention span and to crave instant gratification. I am used to spending massive amounts of money, and I'm prepared to go to into debt to have the next IPod, IPhone and IWhatever. You too? Then the obvious solution is PPC advertising. Google Adwords delivers traffic today with no (or very few) questions asked. All you have to do is pay for it.